Friday, 30 September 2011

Things I like.... a few in detail.

I did a blog post a while back saying things I love, to counter this utterly outrageous view others have of me that I’m some sort of permanently angry anti-social person with a severely limited emotional capacity and a penchant for making other people miserable.  Firstly I’m not permanently angry, I didn’t realise being angry 85% of the time counted as all these days, (no wonder GCSE Maths is a joke.) and secondly there is not one mention in that of my hilarious jokes, rapier sharp wit, charm and good looks. Disgraceful.

As with most of the introductions to my blog posts, I digress. What this blog post is about is to further expand on things I love and that make me happy when I see/eat/drink/do/play/whatever them, before someone in my life hacks me off. Again.
This is a bloody unpopular one. It is an activity many hate, as it involves physical effort. Yet a load of people seem happy enough to go to the gym and say “Yeah. I did about 10 miles and repped x kgs in the gym! RIPPED!” or “Ow, my legs hurt from the gym” (Which also annoys me, why go to the gym voluntarily and moan about it!? But anyway.) Yet one mention of hiking and it’s “Why would you want to do that!?” “You’re mad son” “Hiking’s gay” “Too much effort” “Teenagers hike!?” et cetera.
Nothing better than donning my recognisable mountain green Berghaus walking coat, my prized Berghaus Explorer GTX’s and my Bridgedale walking socks (I included the Bridgedales in case I was accused of plugging Berghaus. No way would I, they don’t pay enough.) and going on a bloody good ramble. Being alone is optional, but always good to have someone to talk to whilst walking, to consult maps with, and of course (in, I stress, extreme circumstances) to eat.

If it wasn’t for mildly dodgy ankle, I would probably do it every month. Sadly, the occasions don’t rise (wahey!) to the fore enough.

If you’re not a fan of hiking, or aren’t sure about it, man up and do it. No matter the physical pain you encounter, there are answers for that. Pain is temporary, glory is forever. Pain is weakness leaving the body. Hiking develops your body and soul. Embrace the pain. Go too slow and feed the crows. These are just a few of the slogans I would be shouting at you should you attempt hiking with me and you started to complain about it. If you love to hike, you I will probably like.

Another one people hate. Because of Marmite. Twiglets are generally demonised in the media, by the public and by tourists. You’d think they’d actually killed someone the amount people hate them. Personally I love them. I could eat nothing but them all day. In fact on a few days off work, I actually have. They’re delicious, and get nowhere near the level of love they deserve. A nickname at school I had that wasn’t Postman Twat (on account of blue trousers I wore in once) or Falcon (a version of my surname) was Twiglet, on account of my slim, tall physique and my love of the Marmite coated wheaty sticks I ate.

Now, I’m not a man who wears a hat a lot. In fact I seldom wear a hat. I don’t really suit most hats. I look even more of a moron than normal in hats. However there is an exception to most rules, and this exception is in the form of a rather nice suede leather South African bush hat I happen to own and indeed wear in the great outdoors. In my head I look like an intrepid South African gamekeeper wielding a Kalashnikov and smoking a pipe. In reality I look like a grinning idiot wearing a hat. But for once, I don’t care. And its an amazing hat. Everyone should have one.

Sounds a strange one, considering the hideous costs driving generally incurs. Fuel literally costs and arm and a leg, you sometimes even have to prostitute yourself to fill your tank. (So to speak.) Hell, MOT, road tax, insurance you could rob a few banks and struggle to pay! It’s an expensive way of life. However. When you’ve got an open road ahead of you, and a CD you love in the disk player, the windows rolled down and the system up, on the way to something you are looking forward to, there are few better feelings than that.

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