Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Things I Hate Everyone Seems To Love

I won’t lie to you. I’m a disagreeable man. I like several things and have a varied interest in a lot. But I also hate a lot of stuff. I mean sometimes it feels like it’s my purpose in life to be wound up and generally annoyed by others and their ‘likes’. (Not saying the word ‘like’ after everything, like, although that does also hack me off.
Chinese Food - I mean people can’t understand that I hate Chinese food. It tastes sour, horrible, slimy and makes me want to throw up into a nearby bin. Yet everyone loves it “fancy a Chinese” “we had a lovely Chinese” “I’d kill for a Chinese” “they’re amazing”. No. No they really aren’t.

Hugs – What the hell is everyone’s obsession with hugs!? I hate them! They’re a curse on humanity and if I was ruler of the world, they would be banned. Horrible things, if you try to hug me, expect me to explode with rage.

Beaches – What is so mother-loving great about a beach? Your feet get sandy, they’re cold, windy, always rains, you get a dog trying to catch a mouldy tennis ball which always comes near you, and you get sunburned whatever the weather, even though you’re freezing your bodily parts off. It’s the mountains for me I’m afraid.

Wine – Now, this will probably cause the most outrage on here from people who love wine, in fact, I think my house may be torched down by a group of angry Merlot lovers. But I really don’t like wine, and its horrible, acrid taste, and of course it’s bleeding expensive to boot. Man up and have a beer.

Oh, special mention to fellow blogger Laura (@lala83 on Twitter) who is celebrating her birthday today. Check out her blog if you aren’t. Happy birthday to her.

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